In The Republican World

In the Republican World, there is no need for health care reform because we already have the best healthcare in the world that money can buy.

In the Republican World, millions of illegal Hispanics are flooding over the border and into our voting booths electing Democrats left and, uh, left in all-out voter fraud.

In the Republican World, money talks and these green lips of corporations belong to people, my friend.

In the Republican World, government should keep its hands out of people’s private business, unless those people are non-corporations, pregnant women, and LBGT.

In the Republican World, oil and coal are king and renewable alternative fuel sources friendly to the environment are the jokers.

In the Republican World, lifeguard services are subcontracted out to for-profit companies who fire lifeguards for rescuing swimmers drowning in waters outside the companies’ contracted area.

In the Republican World, people who can’t afford to pay traffic tickets are thrown into prison for months by collection agencies subcontracted by towns to run the courts’ probationary programs and set the fees defendants can’t afford to pay, all in the absence of a judge.  In the Republican World, it doesn’t matter that this is illegal and unconstitutional.

In the Republican World, Democrats and liberals are godless socialist communists worshiping at the feet of their supreme great black Satan lord whose only purpose is to destroy Republican World from all sides.

In the Republican World, Obamacare comes with a price tag which is the highest tax increase in the history of Republican World.

In the Republican World, pouting and holding your breath while sitting in the corner and refusing to play with others until you get your way is the method of conducting the Nation’s business in Congress.

In the Republican World, if you’re not a Christian you’re not a Republican.

In the Republican World, Republican congressmen love their wives and children, and men they’ve just met in airport men’s room stalls and in public parks and in massage rooms.  They love other children so much they download their pictures onto their computers from the internet.

In the Republican World, fear lies around every corner, and in every dark shadow, and within and without our American borders.  It is colored either black or brown, and wears a name sticker that says “Hello. My name is Liberal Democrat.

In the Republican World, a foreign-born black man is coming for their guns.

In the Republican World, the wealthy and powerful make the rules for the Republican World.

In the Republican World, lies masquerade as truth and facts are irrelevant.  Something is presented as true because it damn well should be.

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