Herman Cain–The Bald Truth

Herman Cain will never be president for one reason and one reason only: he’s bald. No bald man has ever been elected President since Dwight D. Eisenhower. Gerald Ford was elected Vice-President and was moved to the top spot when Nixon resigned. Dick Cheney desperately wanted to be President but he was bald. So, he ran George W. Bush instead and took over the presidency that way. Cain is no Eisenhower. Cain ran a chain of pizza stores. Ike ran the ETO in World War II as the commanding general of the US Army. Cain pitted ad agencies against each other. Ike pitted armies against each other. The only thing they have in common is that Ike was President in the 1950’s and Cain wants to take us back to the 1950’s.

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